The Wet Spots work up a Blather

Valentines WET SPOTS @ REVIVAL - Toronto

The Wet Spots — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 14:38:30 +0000

V-DAY SHOW!

We’re thrilled to remind you of our Valentines Day show in Toronto (the city where we live, of all places!)
What better way to spend Valentines day than listening to sexy tunes and getting your ass slapped while all of your friends laugh at you?
Or perhaps, listening to sexy tunes and watching your friends get THEIR asses slapped and laughing at them.
Whatever your kink, we’ve got a song about it, so SHOW UP and LOOK GOOD. For Chrissakes, Frank, it’s a holiday.

Here are the details:

The Wet Spots
With special guests Fred Spek’s Camp Combo
REVIVAL – 783 College @ Shaw, Toronto, Ontario
8:30 PM
Tickets $12 at the door (or bring a threesome for $30!)

GROUPS OF 4 OR MORE – RSVP why don’cha and we’ll do our best to save you a table!

PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO YOUR TORONTO FRIENDS. IT’S COLD, THEY NEED CHEERING UP.

FYI - This is going to be our first show in Toronto since our last tour , and our last one before our next tour!
We leave at 6 am the next day for another 8-week whirlwind West Coast tour. What can we say?
The dirty hippies like us. And we like them too, even though all they talk about is Burning Man.

For those of you whom I’ve just insulted, please come out to our west coast shows where I will taunt you some more.
That’s how we show love in our family. .... Don’t judge me.

MORE EVENTS AND INFO:

http://www.wetspotsmusic.com

Kisses, hugs, and more, and as always, sincere thanks for your support!

Xox Cass and John
The Wet Spots

Hey Friends - John here, Last month I received a ...

The Wet Spots — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 19:12:00 +0000

Hey Friends - John here,

Last month I received a piece of my past in the mail. Before Cass and I formed The Wet Spots, I spent ten years performing all over Canada, the USA and England with a band called The Orchid Highway. The music was 60’s style British invasion pop with some psychedelic-era Beach Boys thrown in. They’re still going strong, and they’ve just released their long-awaited, self-titled album to generally rave reviews. I played guitar on this album, and sang lead on a song called “Opiate” (which actually mentions a wet spot in the lyrics). If you’re a pop fan, you GOTTA check them out:

http://www.orchidhighway.com

http://www.myspace.com/orchidhighway

Also, in a totally unrelated entry that may or may not become an ongoing theme on our blog, here is a recipe I invented for amazing, low-fat chipotle / lime chicken burritos:

Chicken Burritos (serves 6-8)

2 packs whole wheat tortillas
3 limes
Lime juice (or buy 9 limes instead of 3)
1 can of Herdez Chilpotles Enteros (whole)
1/2 bunch fresh cilantro
8 cloves of garlic (or just get the pre-minced stuff – God!)
1 small-ish onion
3 teaspoons cider vinegar
2 cans black beans
2 ripe avocados
6-8 chicken breasts (bone-in is better if you barbecue – otherwise boneless – in all cases remove the skin)
Tub of fat-free sour cream (or regular)
Allegro 4% milk fat jalapeno cheese (or regular jalapeno monterey jack)
Fresh salsa
salt
1 tablespoon olive or canola oil
Honey

Directions:

Finely chop the cilantro & mince the garlic
Grab two peppers from the can of chilpotles & mince them.

In one large bowl combine the zest of 3 limes, the juice of 9 limes (or equivalent from bottled lime juice) 3/4 of the minced garlic, the chopped cilantro, the minced peppers, the oil and the cider vinegar. Also add 2 teaspoons of the sauce from the canned chilpotles. Stir & let stand for a bit while you mash the avocados.

Once they’re mashed start adding the lime juice mixture to the avocados a bit at a time until they have a mild lime flavour but it’s not overpowering. (You’ll only need to add a small amount.) Add small amounts of salt, salsa, honey, and extra garlic to the mashed avocados until you like the flavour. OK Your guacamole is done. Cover & set it aside in the fridge.

Stick the chicken breasts in the remaining lime juice mixture and let them marinate for a few hours. Read a book for a while. Or watch TV. Maybe do some cardio…

Pre-heat the oven to 350 or (preferred) fire up the barbecue.

While it heats up, dice the onion and the rest of the chilpotles. Rinse the black beans in a colander. In a large cooking pot fry the onion, chilpotles and remaining garlic until the onions are translucent. Add the black beans. You rinsed them right? GOTTA rinse them or everyone will get the farts. Add the remaining sauce from the can of chilpotles. Fill the chilpotle can with water & then add the rinse to the pot. Maybe even take a scraper to the cutting board where you chopped the peppers & scrape as much of the sauce as you can into the pot. The sauce is important. OK. Stir the beans & liquid together, then mash with a potato masher until there’s some bean paste, but some whole beans left as well. Add salt & honey to taste. Let simmer, stirring occasionally. (Should eventually reduce to a refried bean consistency.)

Shred the cheese & set aside.

Barbecue or grill the chicken breasts, until cooked through, turning & brushing often with the remaining marinade. Once cooked through, dice the breast meat into sizeable chunks.

You’re done. Just chuck the chicken, beans and guacamole into separate bowls (the nice bowls) and serve, along with the sour cream, salsa and tortillas.

Happy Eating!

John

OK, this is a fantastic video. Really, you have t...

The Wet Spots — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 02:38:00 +0000

OK, this is a fantastic video. Really, you have to watch it.

It's a band called OK go, I've seen a couple of their videos on YouTube and they are delightful and strange.

12 / 31 / 07 We’re in Washington DC to perform at...

The Wet Spots — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 19:16:00 +0000

12 / 31 / 07

We’re in Washington DC to perform at a pagan / BDSM / polysexual mansion party for New Year's Eve. Very “Eyes Wide Shut” minus the Scientology. I’ve never been here before and it’s making my head explode.

We spent the day walking around the national mall, looking at the monuments, and reading the stirring words of the nation’s founding fathers. It lifts your spirit and breaks your heart all at the same time. The USA was founded on a belief in reason and science, on tolerance, on freedom from tyranny, and on the meaningful participation of every citizen in their government. There’s a demanding purity to that vision which every American should be proud of. But when you compare the original vision with the messy realities of the country today, the shortfall just hits you in the kidney. The National Mall is also the site of several war memorials. They’re much smaller than the monuments to the politicians, so there’s plenty of room for more.

Best Washington DC road sign: “George Bush Center for Intelligence – Far Right”. You can’t make this stuff up.

Happy New Year!

John

What a long, strange trip it’s been. Yes, folks,...

The Wet Spots — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 21:44:00 +0000

What a long, strange trip it’s been.

Yes, folks, we have finally removed our stiletto-heeled hiking boots, soaked our blistered feet in the blood of a freshly-slaughtered Donald Rumsfeld, and caught up on our charm school lessons. The Wet Spots 2006 world tour is over.

The first leg saw us heading down the west coast of the USA. On our very first night south of the border, we were billeted in an enormous warehouse / dungeon full of bondage bunkbeds, suspension slings and a lifetime supply of wet-wipes. Hooray for the USA! Other highlights from this part of the world include:

-Performing live at Seattle’s Wet Spot club as fabulous dance troupe The Von Foxies performed ass-shaking burlesque to several of our numbers.

-Being banned from every club in Santa Barbara, only to have the show rescued at the eleventh hour by the local Unitarian Church. Our audience that night in the assembly hall was about 50% local perverts and 50% bemused pensioners. But they all hollered back for the Masturbation Singalong Song, and one of them told us that The Wet Spots, in our own way, are a ministry. Delusions of grandeur and Al Jorgenson goatees here we come! You can read about the controversy here.

-Discovering that San Franciscans like a good ol’ pervy dress-up event! We played some wild theme parties in amazing underground event spaces with wacky decors. If you’re living in or visiting the area, you MUST check out The Kinky Salon.

Our roots are in Vancouver, where every second weekend someone declares “My father’s got a psychedelic barn… let’s throw an all-night costumed orgy/rave!”. Good to know that it’s happenin’ all over, man!

-Indulging our inner starfuckers with shows with Margaret Cho (check out the picture!) and the Dresden Dolls (and, later in South Africa, with legendary camp comic Julian Clary). These folks are inspirational, and have paved the way for acts like ours.

http://www.dresdendolls.com/
http://www.margaretcho.com/
http://www.julianclary.net/

After the west coast of the USA, we flew off to the west coast of SA for the Cape Town Comedy Festival. This was the first time we’d performed on another continent, and it was wild to have that continent be Africa! We did 36 shows over three weeks with some of the most talented comedians working in the business. It was a real schooling on so many levels. Coming from a bohemian art-bum community, it was weird to find ourselves in a five-star beach resort surrounded by the international rich-bastard set. The country and its people are scarily beautiful, but make no mistake: the legacy of apartheid and the ravages of HIV are very apparent in day-to-day life. One of our nightly shows there was for the FIRST EVER queer comedy showcase on the continent, and driving through the shanty towns was a sobering experience for us libertines. The comedy routines of locals like Loyiso Gola and Kagiso Lediga bring home the realities of life there in a style worthy of Richard Pryor. Another standout for us at the festival was New York comic/musical performance virtuoso Reggie Watts. There is truly nobody doing anything like him right now and you should really check him out.

From Cape Town we flew up to London, England for the Skin Two Rubber Ball. Many of our very first performances were in fetish clubs back in Vancouver, so it was an honour for us to be selected to perform at the world’s largest kink event. The show was held at the venerable Café De Paris in the heart of seedy Soho. This club has been a temple to glamour and debauchery since the 1930s. During World War Two, a shell fell right through the ceiling and killed every musician onstage except the guitarist. He was saved from the shockwave by the metal dobro guitar he was wearing. Cole Porter was a regular visitor, and he apparently penned several songs here. In the sixties, Peter Sellers and Princess Margaret cavorted in the red velvet VIP rooms where we lounged between sets. Throughout, it has presented some of the classiest T&A that the British Isles have to offer.

http://www.cafedeparis.com/
http://www.skintworubberball.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=58&pos=8

The final weeks of our tour were spent in New York City performing at several burlsesque shows, at the Museum of Sex, and at the Cinekink Film Festival, where Kirby Ferguson’s video of our song “Do You Take It…?” won an honourable best award. We were billeted by some fine folks named Reid and Marcia, who invented the Cuddle Party. When we first heard of these organized group hugs several years ago, we were skeptical, but listening to these folks talk with ferocious intelligence about intimacy, communication, community and personal space issues has convinced us that there’s a lot of powerful stuff going on at their events.

We’re off to Montreal to play at Sky Pub this Wednesday, but apart from that we’re going to take it pretty easy until our top secret New Year’s Eve event. After that, we’ll be hitting the west coast of Canada and the USA again this February & March! We can’t wait to re-connect with you all!

A brief description of our show.

The Wet Spots — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 08:13:44 +0000

So I was asked to describe our act and this is what I wrote:

==================
Our typical set goes like this:

We look and act very classy: I usually wear a long evening gown or a peignoir and John wears a thigh-length silk smoking jacket, ascot, sock garters, underwear and no pants. We get up on stage and do a little introduction which involves leading the audience in a pledge in which they put their hands on the crotch of the person sitting next to them and promise to “Go home tonight and make the Wet Spots huge”. Then we sing a song, usually “Do you take it in the ass”. Then we chat with the audience, play some more songs, get the audience to sing along with “masturbation, it’s OK! We all get to do it in a special way!”, get someone to spank me, turn around and spank them, have a long discussion about discovering your genitals, sing a torch song about the quest for the female orgasm, and finish with a quirky little ragtime jazz tune about things you shouldn’t stick in your bum. It’s a high-tone act, believe me. Maybe I should send you a video.

==================

It’s good to be the Wet Spots.

-- Cass

Notes from two soggy Wet Spots

The Wet Spots — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 18:39:46 +0000

Am I Dreaming? / Helping Hands

I've been pinching myself a lot. Sometimes I do this for recreation, but lately it's because I really cannot believe what is happening on this tour. We are playing to sold out houses. They are turning people away at the door. We are running out of CDs to sell, and frantically ordering more. The press is paying attention.

I can be a bit dour & conservative by nature, but I'm being forced to admit that this Wet Spots thing is actually taking off. And it's happening largely outside of the standard entertainment industry channels. We have no manager. We have no publicity agent. We have no booking agent. We have no record label. What we have are fans and advocates.

Several months ago we emailed our west coast list and asked people if they had any tips on venues or events or promoters we should look into. The response was staggering, and this tour never would have been possible without the help we've been blessed with. Some people help by dragging ten of their closest friends out to see us. Some help by taking us into their homes as total strangers, and giving us a place to sleep. And some of them help by putting on a promoter hat and producing a Wet Spots event in their community because they believe in what we're doing. A woman named Melissa Dase from Santa Barbara was so adamant that we would play there that when every bar in town turned us down, she arranged to have the show in the local Unitarian Church. Which made for one of the most diverse crowds we've ever played to and one hell of a road story.

This sort of grassroots support cannot be bought, and it cannot be manufactured through slick media saturation. It's something real and it's something that I've seen & envied in the Ska, Rockabilly, Folk and Hardcore Punk scenes over the years. To be on the receiving end of this sort of thing is really a blessing. I love being on the receiving end!

--John

Cool Venues

We've played a number of interesting venues on this tour - a sex club in Seattle called The Wet Spot, a Unitarian Church hall, a darker-than-Hades Los Angeles den of iniquity & bar... but I'm sitting in our coolest venue yet. It's called Mission Control.

Some of you folks know us from Vancouver & first got to see us at a place called The Babalong Mansion. This place hosted the best parties I've ever attended anywhere on earth. The venue was an old boudoir, done up in red velvet & iron with a cramped dance floor, a cozy chill-out area, and lots of make out pits.There was always a dress-up theme. No streetwear allowed, but no strict fetish dress code either. Sometimes it was hot pants night. Sometimes you had to come dressed as royalty from a real or imaginary country. The DJs were hot, the burlesquers were hot, the costumes were hot, the conversations were fascinating, and never once did I meet a boring person or an asshole. BDSM play & public sexual displays were not the main focus of the night, but they were never frowned upon. basically it was a place to meet & make out with your community.

We've been searching in vain for this kind of scene ever since we left Vancouver, and we've finally found it down here in San Francisco. Over the past two weeks we've done several shows at costume theme nights in some of the wildest off-the radar venues. Mission Control, where we're playing tonight, is a labyrinth of crazy theme rooms - from the pink cuddle closet to the dark tiki bar to the raging red hall to the violet hookah hut. There are Voudou and buddhist shrines all over the damn place, and the main guy in charge has the coolest silent movie villain waxed moustache I've ever seen. These people know how to live. And for a night, we get to be a part of this world. I LOVE touring!

-- John

Review: San Francisco Bay Times

The Wet Spots — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 22:04:41 +0000

July 13, 2006

=====

Radio-Free Pusspuss

Music Beyond Boundaries
By DJ Pusspuss

The Wet Spots
Hello Kinky
www.WetSpotsMusic.com
Campy Canadian kinksters, The Wet Spots, confirm
that sexual libido thrives north of the border on this
fun send-up of sixties comedy albums extolling the
virtues of group and oral sex, the trouble with dildos
in Texas and conversation openers ala Do You Take
It In The Ass? In the same throbbing vein as
Tenacious D or the Queens of Comedy you will get way
too much information but it has a good beat and soon
you may even wonder how to do the Labia Limbo. My
picks: George, Labia Limbo, Texas Annie, Piggy Pile
(Live) and Booty Call. Gig alert! The Wet Spots get
moist July 21 @ SFs Center for Sex & Culture.

Cass King Clobbers Cute Cuddle Party Co-Founder.

The Wet Spots — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 09:42:00 +0000

We had a blast at the Seattle Sex Positive Community Center ... aka The Wet Spot. We played two sold-out shows to the kinkiest, loveliest people in Seattle. One audience member, who Cass spanked as hard as she could, turned out to be Cuddle Party Co-founder Reid Mihalko http://www.cuddleparty.com Check out the website, it looks like a good time. It's Flannel-rific!

Who would Jesus Tailgate?

The Wet Spots — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 19:39:03 +0000

Favorite bumper sticker of the day: "No One died when Clinton Lied"

Favorite Bigot sign: "Shouldn't immigrants have to wait 21 years before voting? I did."

Meeting Margaret Cho and Supressing the Starfucker Reflex

The Wet Spots — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 18:39:01 +0000

A few nights ago we got to meet & perform with Margaret Cho. Cass and I saw her concert movie "I'm The One That I Want" several years ago on one of our first dates. It remains my favourite standup movie ever. At that time, the Wet Spots did not exist and neither Cass nor I had any intentions of doing comedy.

I don't think that we were consciously inspired by that film to start The Wet Spots, but once the act got going, we were inspired by her success. Every time a producer or gatekeeper or money man tries to convince us that we'll never succeed with material about butt plugs, group sex or bi-curiosity, we remember the notorious C.H.O. and her adventures in TV land. (If you work or want to work in the entertainment industry as ANY kind of performer, you absolutely MUST see this film.)

So Margaret is a big hero to us, and it took every ounce of restraint I have not to blather on to her endlessly about how brilliant she is. This was a good idea, because I got to hear her talk instead, and she is a gracious, grounded person who's doing some great work. As it was, we indulged our inner starfuckers by getting her to pose with us in a goofy-ass, touristy photo op. Which we are totally going to post on our page soon. HA!

Gday from Australia

The Wet Spots — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 18:45:00 +0000

Hi,
I was wondering a couple of things.
First when are you coming to Melbourne, Australia? You have many fans here and we also have a major comedy festival every April, It would be great if you could attend.
Also we were listening to the song 'Piggy pile' and was wondering what one was.
Thanks
Your Drunken Australian Buddies

Hello, Drunkards!

We would love to come to Melbourne. We're looking into the comedy fest, we almost made it this year but alas, it was not to be.
Perhaps if enough people send an email to the festival? *smile* info@comedyfestival.com.au
And a Piggy Pile is a term that our friend Mr Quigley made up. Some people here call them Puppy Piles.
It's an orgy. You know, big pile of squirming, squealing, steaming bodies....
Now I'm hungry.
Thanks for writing!
Cass King, Wet Spot

we're working on integrating this page into the ne...

The Wet Spots — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 00:20:00 +0000

we're working on integrating this page into the new site design but for now the blogger template will have to do!